Yo kids. Below are a bunch of silly things that have been said down in room 211 of the McCoy building at Johns Hopkins University. If you don't know anyone who lives in that room, I don't know how you came to be viewing this page, but enjoy yourself anyway, and keep in mind that we are even more oversexed, prejudiced, and stupid than these quotes make us sound.
We'll be adding more shit as soon as we say something funny/stupid. Just hold on to your little gonads and strife (gonads in the lightning, gonads in the rain).
New, as of April 5th: the pictures page has been completely redone and new photos have been added. Plus, a bunch of new quotes have been added to the top of the list below.
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"Everytime I try to put my shoe on, my foot's not there." --Lindsay
"I want my foot back!" --Lindsay
"I thought they were watered down or something." --Lindsay, referring to her boobs
"I really like to lick Satan." --Lindsay
"I wanna conditioner you." --Lindsay
"I guess dirty old man is my flava." --Poliqua
"Go back to fucking Rutchia bish." --Lindsay
"It means she shits herself...which is fun." --Lindsay
"I'm just a mess. ...I am my room..." --Danielle
"No, song isn't living with us. It's me, Song..." (giggling) "Oh man, I'm drunk." --Ben
"Can we just fuck the ice cream?" --Lindsay
"You know I taste good." --Lindsay
Lindsay: "Doin' it and doin' it and doin' it well."
Danielle: "Why you think you can quote L.L. Cool J., I don't know."
Lindsay: "You do your shits."
Danielle: "And my giggles."
"Bitch was so trying to annoy me." --Lindsay
"Every now and again, someone is in love with their cousin and hooks up with him all over town." --Danielle
"Ow. Not having children." --Danielle after being punched in the uterus by Lindsay
Polina: (to the tune of "I'm Proud to be American") "'Cuz I'm proud to be Pakistani!"
Maha: "Shut up! We'll get shot!"
Lindsay: "No, just you, Maha."
Maha: "What's that Shirley Temple movie..."
Polina: "Dancing In The Rain! I loved that movie!"
Dani: "You know what movie I want to see?"
Maha: "Free Willy 2?"
"Those are Polina's America papers you just spilled shit on. Now she has to go back to Russia." --Maha
"I just always laugh because monkeys are funny." --Maha
"Maine, it's such a homey little state." --Karen
"I wanna see your bush, bitch!" --Polina
"Most guys are nice enough--AND THEN THEY RAPE YOU!" --Polina
(spoken in a rapid, neurotic voice) "Especially when you're cracked out--like me--all the time!" --Polina
Karen: "Prostitution makes friends, that's what I'm talking about."
Polina: "No, prostitution makes herpes, get it right."
"I would do you in the weight room. I would do you on the basketball court. I would do you under the rock wall. I would do him anywhere. I would even do him on our kitchen floor." --KLo
"I wanna do hiiiiiiiiiim!!!" --KHo
"I like having sex with myself." --Karen
"I love my Lindsay." --Danielle
"Did you just call me a fat chick in a party hat?" --Danielle
"This stuff is amazing." --KHo discussing KY lube.
"I'm ba-ack!" --Danielle
"You're funny...you're...kind of an idiot." --Dani to Lindsay
"I didn't sleep with Susan Surandon." --Yejin
Kristen: "He's a cute little thing--about two inches taller than us."
Karen: "Awww. Let's sleep with him."
"So I'm like, 'Yes! Do me now!'" --KLo
"Do you have any more porn?" --Poliqua
"It smells like dirty vagina...I know what it tastes like, baby." --Lindsay
"I hate girls. I don't ever want to be a girl." --Karen
"These are very small pickles--they're like asian pickles." --Karen
Danielle: "Look at my nipples! Look at my nipples!"
Linds: "Ew, I don't wanna look at your nipples!"
Dani: "Sex is like sports."
Linny: "I wanna be on the sex team."
"The cow says moo! The Jew says Oi!" --Danielle
"Software that provides exclusive offwares." --Lindsay
"I'm gonna turn into a potato and grow spuds!" --Lindsay speaking for Polina
"That's God's little way of saying 'I don't hate you that much." --Danielle
"If I had to pick one to do, I would definitely do Terrace." --KLo
"I'm thinking masturbation..." --Karen
"I'm so misunderstood." --Danielle
(singing and dancing) "I hate boys, I am a lesbian! I hate boys, I am a lesbian!" --Karen
"...it's cheesy, and it's so like it like you know...it's me!" --Danielle
"Take your pants off." --Lindsay
"I hate to tell you this, but almost no car goes 400 miles to a tank." --Kristen on a VC song
"If an orgasm had a smell, this is what it would smell like." --KHo
"Smell my face! Smell my face!" --Karen
"That says 'no cockie.'" --Danielle
"He's crispy-crunchy." --Lindsay
"It would be fun to go down on someone in a church." --Lindsay
"The problem was that...well, there were many problems." --Danielle
"I wanna be a pig, too!" --Dani
"I can't get out of bed because I can't get out of bed." --Danielle
"Fat, hell, what's the difference?" --Danielle
"Right now I'm in the mood to go for a run tomorrow." --Lindsay
"This phone just asked me if I'm on drugs!" --Jason
"No one's gonna suck if you stink." --Danielle
"Don't take this the wrong way, but...what is going on?" --Ariel
"I should be a comedian." --Yejin
"Yes, he is queer...especially if his name starts with an 'F' and ends with an 'ugly.'" --
"Everyone likes it--me with, like, a thing in my mouth." --Dani
"Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I get a boner." --Lindsay
"I'm smoking about pot." --Lindsay
"Mmm...cum." --Danielle
"Did you just take that up the mouth?" --Poliqua
Dani Pooh: "I steal lots of stuff from you."
Linny Pooh: "Like my virginity!"
"I bet he has a big dick and I bet he wants to bang bang bang!" --Yejin
"You'll always be my thunder cock, Lindsay." --Danielle
"I could go for an orgasm right now...whatever that is." --Karen
"Sexual rape!" --Yejin
"Lemme taste ya." --Lindsay
Dani: "I've actually been looking at porn on your computer."
Lindsay: "Me too."
"I'll do another line." --Danielle
"I had a big bag of money, but I don't know where I put it." --Lindsay
Danielle: "Lindsay, you have the dirtiest mind in the world."
Lindsay: "No, the mind's not the dirtiest part."
"You made me touch your ejaculate!" --Lindsay
"Jizz is my favorite." --Dani
"I like jizz." --Lindsay
"I want to see bush." --Kristen
"I don't hate my life that much yet." --Danielle
"I'll die with a sausage in my hands." --Yejin
"Gonna fuck a telephone up her ass." --Yej
"Welcome to the hole, Jason." --Yej
"Let's celebrate with a piece of meat." --Yejin
"You're passionate about fucking me." --Lindsay
"I like talking about getting off but better than that I like getting off." --Lindsay
"I think pleasuring your Lord is a good thing." --Lindsay
"Whore-ible." --Lindsay
"Stop ejaculating." --Yejjles
Yejin: "I'll come down naked..."
Lindsay: "I want to see you naked."
"I could go for an orgasm right now...whatever that is." --Karen
"You could use it for a dildo." --Lindsay
"I like pansies." --Danielle
"I didn't know it could get so big. I didn't know it could spread like that." --Yej
"Gotta love bush." --Dani
"Did I swallow those? Let's hope I swallowed those." --Lindsay
Lindsay: "You're in this permanently high state."
Yejin: "That's good."
"I don't worry about much things [sic], I don't worry about poverty or world hunger or anything, I just worry about beer." --good old Yej
"Can you hold my boobs?" --Poliqua (a.k.a. Polina) to Yejin
"It's not because of pot, it's because I have a really great personality." --Yejjles
"You weren't supposed to be looking at me!" --Lindsay
"I hate you, Lindsay." --Danielle
"Hi, fuck me." --Dani
"I mean, how would you look if you just came out of someone's hole?" --Lindsay
"I think this cold is like doing something to my head." --Lindsay
"I learned how to bull-sheet." --Lindsay
Yejin: "I'm going to get five guys, push our beds together, and fuck them all while I make my roommate watch. See that penis going inside me? See all five of them?"
Danielle: "Yejin, how big is your vagina?"
Yejin: "A good ten inches."
"WWJ--fuck." --Lindsay
"My father has blue hair." --Danielle
"You're a small bitch." --Danielle
"You have to stay there, or else she'll come on my head." --Lindsay
"Oh Christ, would you get off my head?!" --Lindsay
"Who the fuck is Johns Hopkins, anyway? I'm going to find his rotting corpse, drag it out of the ground, and shove a telephone pole up his rotting ass." --Lindsay
"My uterus looks like an aardvark...put it in your paper...your uterus looks like a chicken..." --Lindsay
"Blueballs? What's that? Is that when they're cold, or something?" --Yejin
Lindsay: "Danielle, you might just have to start wearing pants now."
Dani: (thinks for a moment) "No."
"Speaking of love sweat..." --Dani
"I was just playing with it and it came out." --Dani
"I know you enjoy my antidotes--anecdotes." --Yej
"I just don't want to lose him to some bitch-ho. He knows he can't do better than me, shit." --Yej'n
"My teacher, when she speaches French..." --Lindsay
"I'll fuck anything that moves." --Dani
"Is that a quote board moment? Wait, no! Stop! That was a joke! Stoppit!" --Danielle
Karen: "Tomorrow's the feast of St. Nicholas."
Lindsay: "Feast??"
"Whenever I look at your face, I wanna throw things at it." --Lindsay to Dani
"I don't like to sleep alone." --Lindsay
"I'll be well fed...well, I'll be fed." --Lindsay
"That was like a birth noise." --Lindsay
Lindsay: "That wasn't hard."
Danielle: "It's always hard."
Yejin: "What are you talking about, her dick?"
Danielle: "Yeah."
Danielle: "That's not you?"
Yejin: "I am you."
"That's not food. That's shit of aliens." --Lindsay
"Why do I always get fucked in every situation?" --Danielle
"I said cum." --Danielle
"I was humping my computer." --Danielle
"Mandy Moore's got a milk mustache, but you know what it really looks like. She's been getting her daily protein intake." --Danielle (making an indirect reference to a quote further on below about the protein content in semen)
"All fucks are good." --Lindsay
Lindsay: "Food is so good."
Danielle: "Yeah. Mmm."
"I'm too sexy for registration." --Danielle
"I'm too sexy for everything." --Danielle
Danielle: "WWJC, baby!"
Lindsay: "...WWJD, jackass."
Danielle: "Shut up, I'm Jewish."
"Man, this is one big piece of chick--...carrot." --Yejin
"I don't want anything, I just don't want to be alone." --Yejin
"Oh. Life. I love life." --Yejin
"I don't really love life." --Yejin
Lindsay: "If I had a dick, it would be so big. If our dicks had a fight, mine would chop your dick's head off."
Yejin: "My dick would be so big I would put out fires with it."
Lindsay: "Beatles and sex...Jesus."
Danielle: "I want Beatles and sex."
"What's that thing from Star Wars? A laser bong." --Gindogg (referring to light sabers)
"Oh, I can work with my hands!" --Lindsay
Danielle: "Put the tape on the cap."
Lindsay: "No, then all the blood will rush to its feet."
"No, God. God, no, no; God, no." --Danielle
"I haven't seen enough dicks." --Danielle
"Is it hard? Why is it like that? Why does it stick out like that? Why doesn't it just flop down?" --Gindogg (yes, she was talking about a penis)
"See, that's what happens when you over-analyze things: you just get caught up in the analyzing." --Gindogg
"Because the TA loves me, he gave it to me orally." --Karen
"Karen, you have like that disease with like volume control." --Danielle, who has like that disease with like no words.
"I'm not used to wearing clothes for a whole day." --Karen
"He wanted to make me sweaty." --Kristen
"Sorry, by the way. I don't mean to be rude. I just am." --Lindsay
Kristen: "He didn't have anything in his hands except my..."
Lindsay: "...insert body part here..."
"I should have just fucked the 25-year-old when I had the chance." --Danielle
Danielle: "The thing without a penis."
Lindsay: "That's the only thing that doesn't interest me."
"hookerism" --Karen/Svetlana
"I like to toss salad." --Karen/Svetlana
(Upon removing half of Wolman from their bags...)
Lindsay: "We are so good."
Danielle: "Yeah, I like us."
"I think I may have anomia. You know, when there are..." (long pause) "...certain points when I can't think of the word." --Danielle
"I know what I'm smelling- I'm smelling him!" --Karen
"Preparing to hibernate...hibernating!" --Dell Latitude
"The harder the demonstrator blows, the greater the ball's initial speed..." --Karen's Physics Book
"I don't wear shirts, ok? You're just going to have to deal with it." --Karen
"If I start to smell, just say so." --Danielle
"My flava's mocha." --Karen
"You're like 'ugh' and I'm like 'yes!'" --Danielle
"I'm dying. Hi. Hi. Don't mind me." --Danielle
Danielle: "Like, innocent until proven guilty."
Karen: "Yeah, liked until proven jerky."
"I mean that in a purely physical sense." --Karen
"CRACK! CRACK!" --Kristen's neck
"Lindsay, you're my hero!" --Danielle, while Lindsay flexed her muscles
"After I'm done eating..." --Danielle
"I'm pretty funny, aren't I?" --Lindsay
"I saw your friend Jewish today." --Karen
Karen: "You squashed his heart! You ripped it out- I saw you eating it at dinner!"
Danielle: "No, that was just cafeteria food."
"That was really funny when my dick fell over...My dick fell off!" --Lindsay
Karen: "I almost drooled."
Lindsay: "Are you ever not drooling? Because every time I've seen you there's been a little something hanging out of your mouth."
"You smoke cuz you're going to get money out of it, with which can buy you a new lung." --Karen
"Lindsay, I'm going to be so upset if you die of a heart attack and I don't." --Danielle
"I LOVE NODOZ!" --Lindsay
"Arranged marriage isn't that bad." --Danielle
"I like decapitated myself...damnit, I shoulda decapitated myself!" --Danielle
"I just thought you liked him because he was naked." --Karen to Danielle
"Overloading on caffeine makes me perspirate." --Lindsay (on NoDoz)
Danielle: ...gibberish...
Lindsay: giggle giggle
Danielle: ...gibberish...?
Lindsay: "What??"
Danielle: "Huh?"
--way too little sleep and too much caffeine
"And they're really good for you...well, they're pretty good for you...well, they're not that bad for you." --Lindsay
"I don't want to have to quote you." --Karen
"It would be perfect if they were all bi, because then they could just relieve each other." --Kristen
"I'm half-naked and I'm trying to sleep. Could you please stop exercising, Asian boy?" --Karen
Lindsay: "You can even buy a penis."
Karen: "Really?!"
"This is Rover. He's a dog." --Karen (panting, barking and growling)
"Straight out of Moscow."
"That was my personality's personality."
"I am what you call 'lesbian.'"
"This girl once told me you can buy penis."
"It is very hard being lesbian...and that penis was expensive."
--Karen/Svetlana
Danielle: "..."
Karen: "I think you have that disease."
"Russia is very cold. All there are are figure-skaters there." --Karen
Karen: "...she was wearing that fur--she probably got it from one of the animals in the Black Forest."
Danielle: "Isn't the Black Forest in Germany?"
Karen (looks confused): "...um...yes. We have a mini Black Forest. Like a meadow, really. But we call it a forest."
Danielle: "What kind of animals do they have in the Black Forest?"
Karen: "We have pixies...very small..."
Danielle: "Are there male pixies?"
Karen: "Yes. We call them mixies."
Lindsay: "What about the transvestites?"
Karen: "We call them transvestixies."
Karen: "My mom, she's a smoker, so I had to buy her new lung. I thought 'How to make money?' -in the hooker business'."
Lindsay: "How many people did you have to fuck to get the lung?"
Karen: "After a while I lost count."
"They're going to be making babies like fuck!" --Lindsay
"Lindsay, you're my son." --Danielle
"I mean like...I give it to my TAs orally, they give it to me orally, I will phuck for physics, I just made love on the treadmill..." --Karen, a.k.a. big big big big ho bag
Karen: "What's fun?"
Lindsay: "Getting drunk and screwing random men."
Danielle: "That's what I plan to do tonight." (inserts pickle into mouth)
"Let me tell you this: sex cells are not part of the food pyramid!" --Karen
"There is protein in sperm, and we have a need for protein. Maybe we should start sucking more dicks!" --Lindsay
what Lindsay wrote while drunk: "um danielle said oh she said "you're like a chipmunk if you have things in your mouth"
"It's like 'Please! Please! Now! Now!'" --Karen
"That's so depressive." --Lindsay
"I don't speak your language." --Danielle
"Have you ever put your finger in your belly button? It's not a comfortable thing!" --Karen
"I accept the fact that I am a hobag." --Karen
"It feels good to be sweaty, then clean, then jump in bed." --Karen
"Holla, I hate turkey." --Lindsay speaking for Jesus
Karen: "It's like a smorgasbord."
Lindsay: "No, it's like a snausagebord."
"Wooh getting laid!" --Danielle
"As long as you have a vagina, you're good with them." --Lindsay (referring to Hopkins boys)
"I love the little man who lives inside my computer and tells me about the printing." --Lindsay
"...um...I guess there is...um...lots of times...when there is not work being done..." --Danielle
"Who cut off your testicles?" --Danielle to Alex
"Your advisor's a man. You can offer favors in return for W's." --Lindsay
"Everything makes sense in my head." --Danielle
"Smell me! Smell me! I smell fine!" --Karen
"I like--I love boobs." --Karen
"I like Karen's boobs." --Lindsay
"I'll have to beg someone with a car and sell my body to them." --Kristen
"I love cupcakes. Cupcakes love me. Going to marry cupcakes." --Lindsay
"I wanna be Karen when I grow up." --Danielle
"Beginning dump of physical memory." --Dell Latitude
"'Mexican immigrants' is not a thesis." --Lindsay
Danielle: "I'm a vegetarian."
Lindsay: "No you're not."
Danielle: "I only eat chicken. I don't eat the cute animals."
"You know, sometimes I have to remind myself that I like you, Lindsay. Because every now and then I forget." --Danielle
"Ah, my shithole." --Danielle
"Oh God, I realized I did not put on deodorant." --stinky Danielle, a.k.a. "Stank Ho"
"That's a mental-torium." --Karen
Kristen: "Anybody want anything from the vending machines? I'm getting something to suck on."
Lindsay: "You could go down to Tom's room. He's got something you could suck on."
"Filth doesn't bother me. Ya know? Sloth: not a problem." --Danielle
"Hygiene is overrated." --dirty Danielle
"Ew. Ew, Karen, ew. Karen, ew. Yuck yuck yuck." --Danielle about Karen's progressive science experiment
"You're a pee-pee head." --Lindsay to Karen
"Ew, you're distusting. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew." --Danielle
Some of our favorite websites:
Direct Connect Now that they killed Soulseek, this is the only file-sharing program still alive at Hopkins.
three brain "When you're a kid and you wanna go wee, but you ain't got drugs yet, just hold on for your life, hold on to your little gonads and strife."
dancing Korean boys
lots of funny stuff
the Vocal Chords website Karen's a member.
this is hilarious, trust me
dress up Jesus
real ultimate power Ninjas are soooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.
Ecuador pictures Photos of Karen's trip to Ecuador over intersession.